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Name of Article Here

By Storey Jones

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It is time to think differently. It is time to act differently. It is time to completely re-write the legacy of divorce. In fact, we hate the word divorce. Instead, we call it a dtour. Actually, we call it dtour.life.

I used to sit in the courtroom and watch couples. They would sit on opposite sides of the room - body language fully contracted. Tight lipped men and women with anger and rage emanating from every pore. In some cases, it was more grief than anger. In other cases you could feel the tremendous sadness- and a lot of fear. I used to try to imagine these same two people holding hands, laughing, enjoying a candlelight dinner, even saying “I love you.”

 

"It is time to completely re-write the legacy of divorce. In fact, we hate the word divorce. Instead, we call it a dtour. Actually, we call it dtour.life."

 

o how did they get here? In a courtroom full of cold process and procedure with professionals strategizing over how to succeed while the other fails.

We believe this is partly due to the lack of a framework for how to think about it, along with a lack of access to information, guidance, and tools. Please read on for the dtour.life philosophy and recommendations for moving forward.

1. Let’s start with a framework for how to think about divorce - a dtour that maybe you hoped for, or maybe you never saw coming and do not want it to happen.

Old Thought: I am so angry. I am devastated. I am scared. This is going to be a fight. I need a shark. I am so afraid of what I am going to have to give away or that I won’t get enough. What do I do? How am I going to survive it? (Complete and utter chaos of the mind.)

New Thought: I am so angry. I am devastated. I am scared. I need to learn as much as I can about all of my options. I want to prepare so that I can participate in this process and make really smart, informed decisions about how to move forward and effectively complete the process. I am just going to take this one day at at a time. We will always have a past together and now we have to chart a new future for both of us.


About the Author

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Terry Caldwell

Caldwell & Caldwell
c&cfamilyfirm.com
Lawyer, Mediator, Certified Family Law Specialist

Sarah M. Armstrong is a native New Mexican who completed her bachelor’s degree from the University of New Mexico in Journalism & Mass Communication in 2001. After obtaining her law degree from the Georgetown University Law Center in Washington, D.C., Sarah returned to Albuquerque and was sworn in as member of the New Mexico Bar in 2004.

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